We all make mistakes. Sometimes I post things that shouldn't be posted, or say things that aren't true. Instead of changing those mistakes, I'll just talk about them here. Many magazines do the same thing, they have to print their corrections about the last issue in the new issue. One of my favorite magazines Stuff makes all kinds of mistakes in their magazine and they have to print out the corrections the following month. I highly suggest reading Stuff, especially the corrections because they seem to make the same mistakes I do... or vice versa. Now on to my corrections.
I misspelled "philanthropist" twice on one of the pages. As soon as I figure what that word means and why I used it on any page, I'll fix it.
On one of the surveys it asked what my pets were and I replied "Poco (Dalmatian), Cally (Beagle), Chole (Calico cat), Leah (sister)", well I also forgot my pet cactus "Roger". Sorry for the inconvenience.
Last February I sent out a mass E-mail to my friends. Well along with that E-mail there was an attachment that had my bank account number and pin number for anyone to get cash from me in case of an emergency. If you did not get that attachment, I am sorry.
A few months ago I erroneously stated I was actually looking forward to seeing "The Mummy Returns"
Remember when I convinced some of you to rob the local McDonalds, and I promised to be there to pick you up in the getaway vehicle? Well I overslept that day. Sorry, but I promise I will be there to pick you up from the jail in 5-10 years.
Last week when you asked me what was wrong, I replied "nothing". Well I lied. I think I am suffocating in this relationship.
So time ago, I told you that my friend from college once saw Elvis shopping at Wal-Mart. Well it turns out he lied to me, Elvis died before my friend was even born.
The E-mail I sent to you promising you $213.63 for every person you forwarded it to turns out didn't have a tracking program on it, but instead contained a deadly virus. Thankfully it was not a computer virus but just a modified form of Ebola so your computer files should be safe from harm, unlike your internal organs.
A few weeks ago I met an ex-girlfriend and proceeded to "catch up" with her just like old times. I immediately regretted the error but will probably end up doing it again.
It turns out I was wrong about pyramid schemes being legal in Arkansas, sorry for dragging all of you into that mess but that traveling salesman was very convincing.
I once claimed to be you when I went to borrow money from a loan shark, and I even gave him your address. Well I regretfully admit that I lost all the money on a bet on who the lead singer of Korn was (who knew Cobain was dead?). I highly advise you to get out of the country soon unless you want to see the inside of a pine box.
Remember when I told you about those voices I kept hearing in my head? Well it turns out it was Lou my co-worker talking to me through the venting shaft in the ceiling. My sincerest apologies goes out to the families of all my victims
Again, I was wrong when I said that it is only legal in Texas to walk your pet Alligator down street as long has you have a leash and pooper scooper. Turns out it is legal in Montana too..
I apologize for any of you who actually believe these
corrections, I never should have been friends with someone as gullible as you.
Being human I know I'll make more mistakes, and I plan on apologizing about them here too, so check back later.